Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
