just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
