Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize