Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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