he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You are a genius and a whore.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
