My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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