You work out of a Hotel?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
