Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
