A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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