READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
