Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
