can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize