I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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