dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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