Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Is it penis luge time yet?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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