Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
