She is in my trunk
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize