Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
