I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
