You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
