this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
