Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
