I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
