Pants 0. Shit 1.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
