sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
