I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
