No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
