And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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