i jhust puked up my retainher.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize