im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
