Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize