You really coming over, don't trick.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize