Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
