we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
