i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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