just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This is my gift to your gina
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
