Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
