We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
