Swine flu. Run for my life!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
