Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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