I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
