I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize