Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
