That's intense
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
only if we run a train.
done.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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