I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
