Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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