gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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