So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
