I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
