i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
