the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
