I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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