my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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