well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
