he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
