would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
