we're chasing vodka with high fives
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
