i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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