Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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