You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize