'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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